When you have a good marriage, it’s just like heaven on earth. But when you have a bad marriage, it’s just like hell on earth. I know so many frustrated, married couples who have yet to understand that they have to trust Jesus to do what they’ve been trying to do to fix their marriages. I am fully convinced that when Jesus is at the center of marriage and family relationships, He can show up and do a miracle in the midst of that family. And there are some families today that need miracles.
Some of you have been wondering for a long time, “When is my marriage ever going to get better?” Some years ago, I said that when you don’t understand the purpose for a thing, abuse is inevitable. Abuse is abnormal use. When you don’t understand the purpose for marriage, abuse is inevitable.
This is why Jesus must be in your marriage. You can’t think your marriage will thrive by working principles. Please don’t misunderstand me—principles are good. But simply working principles in a marriage, without Jesus, is doomed to fail. Jesus can do miracles in your marriage; He can do a quick work in your marriage. Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding celebration. This lets us know that Jesus made marriage a priority (John 2:6-11). God’s first priority is to bless your marriage, not your career, your job, or your ministry.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way—not to exalt the ministry or the career over what Jesus prioritized as being so important that He honored it with His first miracle. I made the decision to honor my wife, my children, my family—that is my priority. When you honor something, it weighs in heavy in your life. And if we have bad days, it’s my job to turn those bad days into good days. Anytime I get confused about how to treat my family, I just check out how God treats me. God loves me with an everlasting, undying, unending, unfailing, love. So I can dispense the love that I get from God to those relationships.
I believe, with all my heart, that what’s been missing in our marriages and families is Jesus—making Him the center of the family. Every marriage ought to have a third party. And the third party to that marriage is Jesus. I’ve been counseling on the do’s and don’ts in marriage for almost 30 years. But when Jesus gets into that marriage, you can trust Him to transform it into what marriage is supposed to be. I believe that divorces will be cancelled when people invite Jesus back into their marriage relationships.
God gave you your wife and your husband so that he or she can express love to you. So don’t allow the devil to rob you of the intended purpose for the whole family unit. You have to go to God every single day, even when things are going well, and express to Him how much you need Him in your marriage. I finally figured out that God doesn’t need me to be who He is—but I do need God to be who I am! Your whole life has to be about making sure you don’t get in His way. Get out of God’s way and let Him do for you what you’ve been trying to do but have yet to be successful at. God instituted marriage to show us a demonstration of Jesus’ love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25). So, I want you to remember that from now on, when dealing with marriage and family, Jesus can help you in a supernatural way. Drawing from Jesus is the key.
“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, NLT).
In my wildly popular teaching series The Marriage Enhancer, Vol. 2, I reinforce why you can’t have a successful marriage and raise godly children without Jesus. You can’t dismiss Jesus from that equation! He has to be at the center of everything in your life in order for it to be whole, prosperous, and thriving. Receive this series today and discover God’s blueprint—His original vision and intent—for marriage and family relationships.